Yesterday sucked. Wednesdays were my day that I to graduate to the next week. I would have been 10 weeks yesterday. I was doing fine until I opened the dreaded Facebook. A woman I know announced her pregnancy(second one this week) along with posting more pics of herself at the bar. She smokes, she drinks, doesn't have any stability in her life, and parties every weekend. Yet here she is pregnant.... And I'm not. My line I say all the time is "God hates me", I imagine the bar fly on the other side of town saying the same thing.... I don't know if God hates but it sure does feel like he does sometimes.
Depression. Yup, I have it. Never thought I would. I've never felt like this. I sit quietly, it's difficult to engage me conversation, and I have a temper. I seriously screamed at my dog. I never do that. I filled the Ambien script yesterday. I didn't think it worked. But my husband says that I was up talking to him when he got home from work. I remember nothing. I do feel a million times better with a good night of sleep.
I'm still hoping for my FET in the fall. I'm working hard to save up for it. I picked up to working 36 hour shifts at work instead of hiring someone and I have a full day of mowing grass today. If I can get DH out of bed. I hear him in there stretching but it's not looking good for rolling out of bed.
Oh, and technically I am a momma! I have 5 baby woodchucks. I'm trying to find a wildlife rehabilitator to take them but in the meantime, they need feed and kept warm. My German Shepherd loves them.
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