Thanksgiving

I am thankful to be pregnant today.  Though I am still unsure what is going on in there and it could change at any minute.  No real symptoms going on today.  I did not test today.  I am going to enjoy today.

DH is at home with his family celebrating Thanksgiving. I'm celebrating at the fire station.  I made roasted turkey breast with stuffing, corn casserole, mac and cheese, and a pumpkin cream cheese pie. 

And the drama continues. 7dp5dt **UPDATE~~~

I really wish that infertility could be a win or lose game.   The one on the left is last night and the one on the right is this morning

Yesterday, I felt like I was winning. I had a faint big fat positive 6dp5dt in the afternoon and I just went to the bathroom maybe an hour before. So I was pretty happy.  Fast forward to this morning 12 hours later and we still have the same faint positive.  It seems infertility has taken this into overtime. I've had a chemical before and it sucks%$#. 

To be honest, I am grateful for the holidays this year.  It takes my mind off the fact all this is going on. My bestie just called me to go to lunch and since I'm keeping this on the down low, I won't be saying a word to her. Normal people do not understand infertility or chemical pregnancies or things like that.  It's easier not to have to explain them. him   I'm scared someday though she will understand, she told me that her prolactin is high and e doctor says her hormones are all messed up. She wasn't trying conceive but having weight loss issues.    

 After lunch, I'm going out to buy  fresh baked Amish pie .  Rhubarb, DH's favorite, I think it's gross.

 Tomorrow will be my first day back at work since last Tuesday. I am ready to go back to work.  I need to be busy.  I went to work for a little bit yesterday and it felt good.

It's 11:11 make a  wish....
So I went to go get my pee sticks to show to DH....  and....  He said that so romantic.  OK, no he didn't but I'm nuts right now and can't stop.

That line is a ton darker......  guess I need to be more patient....♥

Today is the day ** Updated**

Today will be the day that I POAS. I am currently 6dp5dt.  I don't really feel anything. Anything I do feel can be attributed to the progesterone. It is an evil medication.
I took  vacation time this week. That was a bad idea.  I have been so bored. It is given me so much time to Google and search the Internet for everything. DH thought it would be  a great idea to work at his part time job and leave me home alone.... Jerk.
 So I'm off to start my day. I will update this post tonight with the results of my HPT.  FX!

Well, I'm wrong.  It's a faint line...BFP!!!!!!!!!!  Tears,  Holy cow.

4dp5dt

Today marks four days since my five day transfer. The urge to take a HPT is strong. I'm going to wait until at least Wednesday until I test. I don't have a good feeling about this, so if I wait until Wednesday I know that I'll get an accurate result. DH is ever so optimistic. I feel bad for him. This is going to crush him.
When I was at my consult with my new RE, I asked him if we were going to be the couple that never had children. He said don't worry will get you pregnant. Well awesome.
 I just want to get the beta over with and in my clinic to put me on the donor embryo list.  And I'm going to check into some other options for donor embryos.  When I spoke with my clinic before about donor embryos, they said that they did not have them available very often.
 In the meantime, I'll take all my medicine, drink all my water, and try to have a good attitude.

Not sure how to feel...

It's been a little more than 24 hours since my transfer.  The doctor said that the embryos thawed well.  I thought they were a little sad looking.  He said it was normal for them to be shriveled up but they were rehydrating.  When I asked the quality of the embryos he said "average".   Well, awesome.
I can say that the transfer went really well. I did not feel anything.  I was so out of it had to remind me to turn my head to see the ultrasound.  Thank you, Valium....
I haven't been feeling well since transfer. I was really carsick yesterday after our three hour trip home and slept until 7 AM this morning.   I am still not feeling very good.
 Here's a pic of the embryos from shortly after they were thawed.  

   I hope they are my ugly ducklings.

 

Now, the dreaded two week wait begins.

I'm hot and I'm cold..

All that I can think of is I'm hot and cold. You know the Katy Perry song. One minute I'm ecstatic, the next I'm numb.  I think I try to keep my hopes from getting up so that it doesn't hurt so bad if it doesn't work.
I think I've want to the end of Google researching things about frozen embryo transfers with five day blastocysts. I've Googled frozen embryo transfer after chemical pregnancy .Frozen embryo transfer after failed fresh. When can I pee on a stick after frozen embryos transfer.  You name it, I've Googled it.  But in my mind I know that every case is different and no one can determine our outcome.
 I will have my transfer in a little more than 48 hours.  SQUWeeeeeee!!!!   I'm to the point I'm just ready to get it done and over with.  I know that I can take a test next Monday and maybe get two lines .  I have taken all my medication and have not missed any.  I've been drinking water.   I think were ready.  I think that this is the best chance we've had so far.

 Meanwhile, darling husband (OH YEAH,  I had to spell that out) is on a hunting trip .  He has been gone since Friday and will not be home until the morning of transfer.  I have been left to care for his police dog.  I love this dog but he is a total jerk when my husband's not around.  tonight I gave myself some sanity and gave him 50 mg of Benadryl( don't worry I cleared it with the vet ) .  He has finally stopped pacing for the first time in three days and is sleeping.   Poor boy.   To top things off, we got a huge storm today and there is destruction everywhere.  I had to hide in the basement with the police dog and by dog.   The police dog thought this would be the appropriate time to poop on the floor.   He did it on the concrete by the furnace but it was still gross to cleanup.   He's lucky I love him.

 I announced to DH that I am going on vacation next..... By myself.

Here goes the lost hurrah!

It has been sometime since I blogged. I am currently in school studying to be a nurse. I work as a paramedic right now, but I realize I will not be able to do this job is a get older. There are some days after lifting heavy person I'm not able to walk because my hips hurt so bad. That's being said the school has made it incredibly busy for me and I do not have time to blog.
Sometime in the next 10 day,s we will be transferring our last two frozen embryos. I have been not Estrace twice a day for about 10 days now. It is making Moody and I have developed acne,  it's awesome. I am also taking aspirin, a prenatal vitamin, a B vitamin, a D vitamin, and drinking pomegranate juice. I go Monday for my first lining check.
Needless to say, I am incredibly nervous. I believe I may have Googled everything relevant to a frozen embryo transfer. I am pretty sure I found the end of the Internet. I've read on some blog that elephants were good luck for fertility. While I was out at Pier 1 Imports, I found a little elephant with a baby on its back. The tag for it read elephant with monk.  I think it looks more like a baby, so I had to buy it.

Also, I have been working on projects around the house just keep myself preoccupied. I decorated my front door for fall. I am turning an old sewing machine into a table. And I want to our local Amish auction and bought an old framed painting that I am turning into a chalkboard. They are helping me pass the time.

Please say a little prayer for my husband and me.  This is been the most difficult thing either of us have ever been through. Though we did have a conversation that even though infertility was hard there others out there that have it much worse than we do. We've decided that we have everything we need and the rest of the things that we want are just that "wants".  We will be okay either way.

((HUGS))