So....  It's been awhile.   I stopped blogging when I started school.  It got a little hectic for me.  But it's going well.  I'm smarter than I thought.

Little update.  Nothing.  We haven't done anything cycle related.  We have an appointment for FET on October 1.  If  DH's attitude doesn't shape up we will not be going.  We went to a wedding last week a fielded several, "Do you have kids yet?" questions.  Kind of soured his mood.

In the meantime, everyone else is pregnant around me.  FML.  I asked a friend the other day, when his wife was due.  Imagine how I felt when he said, I don't know, she hasn't been to the doctor yet.  We don't have insurance.  SERIOUSLY!?!  You tried for this and you have  no insurance.  Go F#@K yourself.  No, I didn't say that out loud.  I wanted to though.  But I'll just keep on keeping on.

Our basement is finished.  It's great.  We also mowed all summer in order to pay one of our cars off.  It was painful to write the check but it's great to have the title.

Confession.

I found this today!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully, it's a good sign.

    
I got bored last week and wrote my first RE a letter.  In the letter I outlined why I never came back to his office for any further treatment.  I doubt I will ever hear anything out of him but at least he knows that I think he is incompetent.   I feel better. I also left a negative review for his clinic.  I owe that to others. 
            I now need to call my other RE's office and switch to another RE in his office.  I'm so pissed at my second RE.  I was applying for the Thrive study and was told everything was great, they were just waiting on my embryo quality from my RE.  Lo and behold, I caught him in another lie.   He said our embryos were wonderful he couldn't understand why we weren't pregnant.  As it turns out, for IVF#2 the two embryos were graded fair and poor.  I hate being lied to.  I'm really nervous.
           I've been keeping myself busy doing crafts. I sound like I'm at summer  camp.  I just need something to keep me preoccupied or else I find myself really depressed.  I made a burlap wreath.  I started out doing it one way and then changed my mind half way through. I love how it turned out. 

Research Study.

So far we have qualified for an IVF research study.  The study is for women who have had three consecutive failed IVFs.  It's not really an accomplishment but I have to work with it.  The nurse called on Friday and said so far it's a go.  Everything is free.  I'm so excited. Then the catch.  I thought the clinic was in Chicago, nope it's in Maryland.  The clinic that's in Chicago that is doing the study is very uncooperative.  Almost rude.  The clinic in Maryland returns my e-mails and calls promptly.  It's a ten hour drive or I can fly.
I'm torn.  I don't know how I will pull of a cycle in Maryland.  I'm in wait and see mode right now. 

Ohhhh, I got them.

I just received my medical records via e-mail.  I can't even bring myself to open them.  I know I need to but, I can't.  I'm going to cry.  Screw it, seriously in the middle of typing this I stopped, I had to see it.  They really did put in the report that my DH's first sample was azoo.  I'm going to make their lives annoying.  I will be at my OB/GYN's office early next week to deliver the records to him.  I feel vindicated.   Even if nothing comes of it, I told the truth and wasn't making it up. 
  Yesterday, I received my welcome letter from my insurance.  It was my welcome to our maternity club letter.  I was blue all day.  I told DH and he snapped on me for being depressed.  Really?  I've been great.  Getting a letter congratulating us on our baby and what we could look forward to was a huge kick to my chest.  I'll be OK. 
On the fluffy side, I'm doing pretty good.  I stopped drinking soda.  That's a huge accomplishment.  I feel better for sure.  I have a ton more energy. 
Oh the bar is done!!!!!  I'm super excited.  DH is so handy.  I'm a lucky girl.

Here's a shot of the pup.  I can't help but smile. :)

He helped me fold laundry then napped.

Waaaahoooo!!!

I've have been a little MIA for awhile.  DH and I are kicking butt at his lawn care business.  We have been gone everyday working.  We both took a weeks vacation and worked every day.  I'm back to work at my full time job today and incredibly exhausted.  I was glad to come back.  I like my routine.

In our evenings, while on vacation, DH and I worked on finishing our basement.  We are installing a wet bar.   We had an Amish family make our butcher block counter top.  It turned out beautiful.  And now we are installing stone on the front of the bar.  It's been slow going, we did not expect business to take off like it did.  Everything at home has taken a back seat.

As far as infertility goes.  I'm going nuts.  I'm ready to cycle.  Like right now.   Financially it's better to wait until fall, buuuuuuuuuuut CRUD!  I'm ready now.  I have no patience. 

Here's a pic of the basement.  Don't mind the Vader butt back there.  He's never more than a few feet away from me. ♥

 

 



 

 

 

 

::DEAD::

             The last wood chuck has passed....  I tried.  I'm taking it well.  I had low expectations. My dog has been sick.  He started dripping blood from his penis.  I freaked.  I rushed him to the vet. He has a bladder infection and an enlarged prostate.  He has to be neutered on Thursday.  I will worry all day but I want him better. 

              I'm bummed about waiting for my FET.  I want it to happen soon.  AF finally came.  I'm pretty sure my uterus is inside out.  It's been a rough few days.  A failed IVF cycle messed me up...   DH doesn't seem to get that I'm really impatient about getting the next cycle started.   I honestly looked up how to do an artificial insemination at home....  I'll be certified nuts before it's all done. 
Later,

I'm alive :)

I'm doing good.  Like really good. I've been sleeping.  It turns out the Ambien was what I needed.  I've been getting up early on my own.  I feel good.  I'm ready for FET but DH and I are taking on a business venture....  Nervous.  SOooo, I may need to wait until the end of October.  It gives me time to feel even better.  AF still hasn't visited but I expect her to mess with my head.  My period was a couple weeks late after my failed IVF cycles. 
I'm even cooking again.  I was in a funk.  Everyone knew when I stopped cooking.  Cooking is my thing.  I drive DH mad because I save every cookbook and cooking magazine I get my hands.  Hey, there could be worse hobbies.  So glad to join the world again.  I made the "Three Packet Roast" that I've been seeing on Pinterest.  It was delicious.  I wanted to take leftovers for work today but there was nothing left.
I'm still nursing one woodchuck.  Only one survived.  He is the cutest thing I've ever seen, Besides my gorgeous German Shepherd. 

And the basement is coming along well.  I love having a handy hubby.