:(

I always said I would never complain about being pregnant.  I lied.  I am so miserably sick.  Crippling constipation, nausea, vomiting, heartburn, and fatigue.  The worst part is the constipation.  I have been doing enemas, suppositories, fiber, fruit, etc....  you name it I have tried it.  I haven't held my vitamins down in over a week.  I'm feeling like death.    I pray that this means there are healthy little ones growing in there.

Later, I'm off to take my fifth nap of the day....  seriously

Sick...

I am so sick still.  Dehydrated, vomiting, and constipation.  I feel awful...  That is all.

Ain't nobody got time for this...

Morning sickness.....  All day, every day.  I am so sick.  I minute I was standing outside talking to DH and the next I was on all fours, between a trash can and a planter, puking my brains out.  DH does not do well with vomit so he stood back and patted me on the back.  I can't eat.  I can't take my vitamins.  I can barely take my Estrace.  I feel awful.  I have an appointment next Wednesday with my RE, please let him liberal with the Zofran.  In the meantime, I have a small stash of Phenergan that I've been taking.  Except it knocks me out. 
My other symptoms are not bad.  I crave food even though I can't eat or hold it down. Today it's chicken salad.  I would kill for chicken salad on a croissant.    I wanted a grapefruit the other day.  That felt awesome coming back up...through my nose.   Oh and I CAN SMELL EVERYTHING.  And everything smells bad! 
I'm pretty miserable and moody.  DH keeps asking me if it is a bad thing.  Seriously it's bittersweet.  YAY!!!  I feel like crap that baby must be growing like mad!!!  Boo!!!!  I slept 14 hours yesterday!!!  

Off to go eat some Tums...  Yummmm

12dp5dt BETA DAY!!!!!

Today was the day of my blood draw.  I have been nervous for this for 12 days.  I had to go to my local lab to get my blood drawn because my RE's office is over three hours away. It's easier just to go to local lab and get it drawn. Plus, my local lab offers me half-price if I pay cash for my blood draw at the time of the draw.
DH and I drove over to the lab together, we were both nervous.  DH is a 6'4', big, gruff guy and he's pretty stoic.  We made a bet on the way over that if my beta was under 250, he  would owe me  an early Christmas present.   If our beta was over 250, I would owe him an early Christmas present.  Based on our last beta, last IVF cycle, on this exact same day, I thought I had a pretty good chance of winning. Our last beta was 176 . 
I sat on the couch and worried all day. DH had to work at 2 o'clock.  So then I started Googling.  The call came in at 2:39  from Alison.  She aid she had good news and wanted to know if I was sitting down.  My beta was 750!!!!  I immediately broke down sobbing ad thanking her.  I know I am not out of the woods,  however I am grateful. Since I feel  like crap, DH let me off on a Christmas present for awhile .
DH had to work at 2 o'clock I am noticing symptoms.  Last night, I had a patient in the back of the ambulance that started to vomit.  Vomit has never bothered me.  I started to dry heave and wretch right along with her.  I'm also finding I can smell everything.  I can still smell vomit. And I stepped in dog poop at her house, I can still smell dog poop. 

Thanksgiving

I am thankful to be pregnant today.  Though I am still unsure what is going on in there and it could change at any minute.  No real symptoms going on today.  I did not test today.  I am going to enjoy today.

DH is at home with his family celebrating Thanksgiving. I'm celebrating at the fire station.  I made roasted turkey breast with stuffing, corn casserole, mac and cheese, and a pumpkin cream cheese pie. 

And the drama continues. 7dp5dt **UPDATE~~~

I really wish that infertility could be a win or lose game.   The one on the left is last night and the one on the right is this morning

Yesterday, I felt like I was winning. I had a faint big fat positive 6dp5dt in the afternoon and I just went to the bathroom maybe an hour before. So I was pretty happy.  Fast forward to this morning 12 hours later and we still have the same faint positive.  It seems infertility has taken this into overtime. I've had a chemical before and it sucks%$#. 

To be honest, I am grateful for the holidays this year.  It takes my mind off the fact all this is going on. My bestie just called me to go to lunch and since I'm keeping this on the down low, I won't be saying a word to her. Normal people do not understand infertility or chemical pregnancies or things like that.  It's easier not to have to explain them. him   I'm scared someday though she will understand, she told me that her prolactin is high and e doctor says her hormones are all messed up. She wasn't trying conceive but having weight loss issues.    

 After lunch, I'm going out to buy  fresh baked Amish pie .  Rhubarb, DH's favorite, I think it's gross.

 Tomorrow will be my first day back at work since last Tuesday. I am ready to go back to work.  I need to be busy.  I went to work for a little bit yesterday and it felt good.

It's 11:11 make a  wish....
So I went to go get my pee sticks to show to DH....  and....  He said that so romantic.  OK, no he didn't but I'm nuts right now and can't stop.

That line is a ton darker......  guess I need to be more patient....♥

Today is the day ** Updated**

Today will be the day that I POAS. I am currently 6dp5dt.  I don't really feel anything. Anything I do feel can be attributed to the progesterone. It is an evil medication.
I took  vacation time this week. That was a bad idea.  I have been so bored. It is given me so much time to Google and search the Internet for everything. DH thought it would be  a great idea to work at his part time job and leave me home alone.... Jerk.
 So I'm off to start my day. I will update this post tonight with the results of my HPT.  FX!

Well, I'm wrong.  It's a faint line...BFP!!!!!!!!!!  Tears,  Holy cow.